“A Seed was Sown”
(An honest,
bold and humbling Confession of a WHITE
Christian Afrikaner pastor,
who
accepted his newly adopted BLACK
Grandson)
 |
I was born in 1950 in the Free State town
of Bethlehem and grew up in Aliwal North, a small countryside town on the
fringe of the Karoo in the North Eastern Cape. My parents where both white
natives of the Karoo and brought me up as a proud young Afrikaner in the
traditions of the Afrikaner. My father was also a member of the
My father and
mother were always very good to their black employees – I can still fondly remember
Daniel, one of my father’s friendly, loyal and hardworking employees. I frequently
went with my father to the coloured- and black townships for his work as one of
the Municipalities’ electricians – I never spoke a word, only stared at the
different way the coloureds and blacks had to live in the townships. Itreasure wonderful moments
as a child
My parents were both devoted Christians and we attended
the “Gereformeerde
I
always defended God’s Name and His honour whilst at school, to such an extent that
I proudly owned the nickname of “Priester” (priest) amongst the boys.
At
the end of 1968 the unavoidable happened – I had to attend compulsory military
training. Our country was
Many
terrible things happened during this war. As youngsters we were brainwashed morning,
noon and evening. We were taught to hate, to discriminate and to kill. At the
young age of nineteen my fellow teenage comrades were subtly taught to use the
skills of hatred, discrimination and killing of the black Communist terrorists.
A seed
was sown…
Lots of friends were lost during this time; blown away, torn
apart, mutilated by the Terrorist’s landmines; shot dead in ambushes. One of my
Afrikaner forefathers (general de Wet an
ancestor of my mother) invented guerrilla
warfare against the British in the Anglo Boer War between 1899 and 1902 –
ironically this technique was now been used against us by these “Communist
terrorists”. Apart from the physical trauma many young men’s lives were ruined
psychologically and emotionally. A seed was sown…
I
did not hate black people at time and I did not underestimate their raw
emotions and experiences of this terrible war. My understanding of the mutual
horror made me once remark that if I was black I could have been a terrorist…but a
seed was sown – a deep rooted seed.
For greater understanding I would like to take you back
in history. My ancestors fled Europe for their faith –
I was also and always fascinated by the giant painting of
my forefathers (the Voortrekkers) fighting against the
Forgive? Yes, no
problem, BUT… a seed was sown!
Then
came the British (called the Tommies by the
Afrikaner, a.k.a. the “Boere” – the Afrikaans word for “farmers”) with
more than 500 000 soldiers, because they wanted to colonize the old Transvaal-
and Free State Republics, especially the nowadays
North West Province and Gauteng
where all the gold was. The Anglo Boer
War broke out in 1899 and lasted till 1902. In comparison to the British, only
a handful of Afrikaner men fought against them.
Thousands of Afrikaner men were shot dead on the battle
field (“Boers”). About
http://www.sahistory.org.za/topic/women-children-white-concentration-camps-during-anglo-boer-war-1900-1902
& http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Boer_War).
In 1985 my uncle and aunt were brutally
murdered on their farm outside Middelburg (Eastern
Cape) by four young black men. My
mother was taken to the scene by the police on the same night, whilst the
bodies of my uncle and aunt were still in the house – she herself had to clean
up the bloody scene and was severely traumatised by it.
Forgive? Yes, no
problem, BUT… a seed was sown!
After
my military training I went to Pretoria Teachers College in 1970. I was
handpicked to become one of a handful of young Afrikaners to become part of the
“Ruiterwag” (name derived from the
Afrikaner horsemen during the Anglo Boer War at the turn of the 19th
century – for more info. on the “Ruiterwag) a
forerunner of the “Broederbond”.
With my
recent experiences in military training and the ongoing war I wanted to reach
out to other races and
Some time after I obtained the four year
professional THED-Diploma (education), I also obtained the B.A. degree from Potchefstroom
University and quickly advanced form teacher to school principal. In 1995 (the year after the first democratic elections in South
Africa) I was promoted again and
became principal of a much larger school in Carletonville (another piece of irony – the school was named after
Danie Theron a Boer fighter and hero who fought in the Anglo Boer war and
eventually been executed by the British not far from the school).
For
the first year or three, the school remained an Afrikaans medium school, but
eventually I convinced the School Governing Body and parents, that we must “open
up the school’s doors” for black learners as well – they accepted the proposals
and we were the first school in the town to become a dual medium school (amongst six other Afrikaans medium schools in town).
As principal
of this school I was invited on the 06th March 2001 to attend the
inauguration of the statue of
I
am currently pastor of an Afrikaans speaking Reformed Baptist Church in the
Vaal Triangle of the Gauteng province and I am part of an association of
evangelical churches in Southern Africa. The majority of brothers are black and
African. I have attended several and preached at more than one conference in
more than one African country – and I love all my African brothers and sisters
in those countries.
I still was not a
racist, BUT… a seed was sown!
Why am I telling you all these things
about myself, my ancestors and South African history? Because I did not realise
the subtle indoctrination over many years of the school curriculum and the
Apartheid government, that sown the evil seed of racism in my heart. This seed
laid dormant, waiting for the correct moment and circumstances to germinate,
After almost 64 years, at the latter part
of 2013, I was confronted with the seed. My second son (I have three sons) who
is married to a beautiful American girl (her
father is a pastor of a similar church than ours – a Reformed Baptist Church,
not far from us) unexpectedly asked me how I
would feel about becoming a grandfather to a little black boy – suddenly the
seed had germinated – at once – immediately – boom! I was shocked; I was
confused!
Forgive? Yes, no
problem. …BUT that seed suddenly germinated!
For
a couple of months I experienced turbulent emotions and thoughts. I battled
against thoughts of hate, rage and an unforgiving attitude.
I also realised that I had a
problem with some of the American pastors in the Church circles where I as the
only Afrikaans speaking pastor rub shoulders with other pastors. Why the
Americans? Because they initiated the idea of adopting black orphans and they
and their church members started to adopt black babies by the dozens. I just
felt that this was a “band wagon” that they subtly and or openly motivate their
members (and my son and
daughter-in-law) to adopt. I heard more than one person (not in my son’s church) saying that they are
battling with a guilty conscience, because they don’t want or can adopt – for a
while, this was “oil on my fire”.
Something
that even worsened these mixed emotions was the fact that my son and
daughter-in-law,
I
eventually realised that my conflicting emotions, was not about adopting
babies, but adopting BLACK babies – The seed has indeed germinated! How can I
call myself a Christian and a pastor?
For
the first time I was confronted with the reality of a seed that was sown in my
life, many years ago – a seed that now suddenly started to grow and show it’s
true growth potential! I
realised that this little unknown germinating seed was becoming an ugly and
unacceptable allophylian plant.
By the grace of God…
I started to realize that I
was in sin. I harboured and cultivated an unknown sinful seed over many years.
The
Lord however is good – very good and very gracious to His children and will
never let go of them. Sometimes I prayed about this and sometimes I just could
not pray about it, but as 1 Joh.5:9 says ~ Now
this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according
to His will, He hears us. There were times that I just could not
pray about this, but the Lord Jesus Christ is indeed our High Priest and I now
know that He intercedes for me with the Father ~ Now
this is the main point of the things we are saying: We have such a High Priest,
who is seated at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in the heavens, 2 a
Minister of the sanctuary and of the true tabernacle which the Lord erected,
and not man. 3For every high priest is appointed to offer both gifts
and sacrifices. Therefore it is necessary that this One also have something to
offer. 4 For if He were on earth, He would not be a priest,
since there are priests who offer the gifts according to the law; 5 who
serve the copy and shadow of the heavenly things, as Moses was divinely
instructed when he was about to make the tabernacle. For He said, “See that you
make all things according to the pattern shown you on the mountain.” 6 But
now He has obtained a more excellent ministry, inasmuch as He is also Mediator
of a better covenant, which was established on better promises
(Hebr.8:1).
Slowly
but surely the Lord is helping me to break free and I can already see that this
little plant is starting to change in order to become a wonderful and beautiful
tree.
What brought the change? What helped me?
Off course it is the Lord, because it’s only He that can change sinners and
sanctify them. It is only the Lord Jesus Christ that can forgive, because He
has paid the price in full on the cross at Calvary. It is only the Lord Jesus
Christ who can renew sinful man. He is indeed busy doing just that in me.
The
Lord however also uses other means of changing us and apart from working deep
inside me through the Holy Spirit, He also uses man to help us. Only about a
week ago I, on the spur of the moment, shared my struggle with a fellow pastor
– a coloured man! Why in the world I shared it with him – a coloured man, I won’t
know – but the Lord knew! What was his reaction? He told me that he understands
and that he knows that all people, including coloured people are racist from
time to time (and not necessarily
coloured on white, but also coloured on black). He and his wife has
a little child and they adopted a black orphan a while ago and his father went
through exactly the same battle that I am going through – wow!! Suddenly the
proverbial penny started to drop – I was beginning to see the light! Praise the
Lord – he is indeed worthy to be praised and to honour and to live for!
For
the past two years, I’m preaching through Hebrews and I now realise that I was
preaching in the first place for myself, without realising that the Lord is
busy preparing me for this conflict and confrontation with myself; my sin and
my confrontation with the Lord. I was busy contemplating what happened at
Gethsemane and His suffering on my behalf – His suffering that cannot be
equalled by any man’s suffering – and He went through it for me! The Gospel of
Jesus Christ sustains me with personal assurance of God’s grace and love, so
that I can rejoice with Habakkuk. “Yet I
will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation” (Hab.3:18). The Son of God loved me;
He gave His life for me, how dare I look down on other people; how dare I look
down on a little baby and how dare I put my feelings and preferences for colour
and race before the Lord’s will for my children and a little black,
marginalised boy? I had to do and I must do what Jerry Bridges in his book
“Discipline of Grace” says, “…preach the Gospel to yourself”, in other words as
C.J. Mahaney explains in his little gem, “Living the Cross Centered Life”, I
must continually face up to my own sinfulness and then flee to Jesus through
faith in His shed blood and righteous life.
The Lord miraculously changed this ugly
germinating seed with deep roots of an unconscious racism with a beautiful
plant of life and love which has the future potential to produce forgiveness,
understanding and acceptance. He gave me this victorious freedom by confronting
me with the reality of my unconscious unknown sin. He gave me a choice to choose
between Him and my newly acknowledged sin. The Lord was gracious to me, because
many years ago, alongside the evil seed, the seed of His Gospel was also sown,
thus the Lord had already started to enable me to live through this crisis and
make my choice an easy one.
He
had taken all my simple prayers over many years and had transformed them into
perfect prayers that He as my High Priest could present to His Father thus
enabling me to live through this crisis and be freed – Praise His Holy Name!
The Lord confronted me and as Job, for
the first time (to my shame) I
listened and hear what Job’s reaction was ~
Listen, please, and let me speak;
You said, ‘I will
question you, and you shall answer Me.’ 5“I have heard of
You by the hearing of the ear, But
now my eye sees You. 6Therefore I abhor myself,
And repent in dust and
ashes” (Job
42:4-6).
The seed of the Gospel has germinated
and exterminated the evil seed of racism
Any day now I will become “Oupa” (grandpa) of a little black boy,
called Logan Thomas. I will pray for him to come to Christ and that he will be
able to serve the Lord Jesus Christ as Saviour and King, together with his
“Oupa”.
I
am a little nervous of meeting Logan for the first time, but what “Oupa” is not
a little nervous of meeting a new grandchild. I firmly believe that the
allophylian plant has been replaced and by the grace of God, this seed is
becoming a beautiful tree!
Forgive? Yes, no problem, BECAUSE… a
seed was sown…
…a seed that, by the Grace of our Lord,
suddenly germinated and by the forgiving and restoring grace of Jesus Christ, is
becoming a beautiful tree –
Logan Thomas van der
Walt,
Jacobus Albertus van der Walt’s
first
grandson!
“One thing I know: that though I was blind, now I see”
(John 9:25b)
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(Kobus
van der Walt, Vaal Triangle Reformed Baptist Church)
P.s.: If you are battling
with sin, or affliction in your life – never give up. A terrible sin was part
of my life for more than fifty years and most of the time I wasn’t even aware
of it, BUT for the grace of the Lord, He had a plan with and for my life and
He, out of the blue, confronted me with myself and He eventually delivered me
from those fetters – NEVER GIVE UP, because the Lord NEVER GIVES UP ON US!!!
· Visit
my BLOGS: http://karooseun.blogspot.com (my personal BLOG) & http://diewaarheidmaakvry.blogspot.com (my sermons in Afrikaans).
· Please
read this article (“Delighting in the Greater Adoption”): http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2014/03/12/delighting-in-the-greater-adoption/.
